I thought this picture was pretty funny. I am by all means not angelic, but i thought it would go good with my topic. :)
I have been thinking a lot today on being good or being Christ like. I don't know how Jesus does it? I know that Christ is perfect and there is no way that we can even remotely be perfect, but that we are to aspire to be like him. I want to be like Jesus. I try so very hard. I can honestly tell you that i fall flat on my face all the time. I know how to be good. I see it right in arms reach, but i cant seem to touch it. It is like i am walking towards a rainbow trying to touch it, but every time i get to where i think the rainbow is...it is just a little bit further. I gotta tell you it is very frustrating.
It is taught that you should give service willingly or to help others. I love helping others, but where i fall flat is when i complain about the service that i need to give. I am working on this very hard, but yet i find myself still complaining. I was thinking...what is the point of giving service, if you are going to complain about it? There really isn't any point. You should want to do a favor for someone. What is my deal? I know what my deal is. I am embarrassed to say. My deal is i don't like to be wronged. I find myself wanting to help others who truly need the help and ask ahead of time. I can plan my day and help out. I don't like it when someone asks for help at the last minute, because they have not planned their day right and are in a "jam." I am embarrassed to say... I KNOW that this is when you should help someone.. . When they are in a jam. I have fallen flat on my face. I am ashamed.
It is said that you should forgive 7 times 77. I forgive really easily, this truly is something i do not have a problem with. Where i am falling flat is....should i keep forgiving someone and getting hurt each time i do it or should i step away from the problem and try to avoid having it happen again? I feel like Jesus would want me to keep forgiving and just move on. I am finding this REALLY hard to do. I don't know how much i can continue to have someone stomp on me. You will not believe it. I have found myself doing the right thing. I am still forgiving and "hanging" out with this person. I am terrified though that i will be hurt again. Forgiveness is a process, once the sting is really bad. I have to work through everything and then heal and move on. Some of the things that are done to me are really mean. I keep forgiving, but after you have done it for 7 years it starts to get harder. I hate falling flat.
This is a strange post i know. I had to write about it because i needed to get it out of my mind. I am hoping now that i have posted this...it can help me to reach the rainbow.
2 comments:
forgiveness doesn't require you to put yourself in harm's way. i think the key to long term forgiveness is you avoid recreating the same situation. this avoids tempting the other person to failure, and yourself for disappointment. I think the forgiveness rules is more for those situations that cannot be avoided like being punched in the arm every day by the kid who sits next to you
I share many of your same feelings and I agree, it's complicated trying to figure out when you need to be selfish and protect yourself and when you need to be selfless. You can't be selfless all the time or you will destroy yourself. Even Jesus, at the height of his popularity, took time to be alone and to talk with the Father.
I think all of this is a process. I think falling down is good. You learn from it, and get a little further each time. This whole mess, particularly with the one, is like that I think. We try different approaches to involved and yet be protected. I'm confident that eventually, we'll get it down.
I think you're fabulous and one of the best people I know. Keep at it sister.
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