confusion

As i sit at my computer tonight, i hear my husband playing his new video game with his friend. I hear the familiar laughter of men chuckling at each other dying from an animated punch to the face or kick to the groin. I smile knowing my house is slowly turning back to normal.
The month of July has been a whirl wind of excitement. I have had cousins, friends,in laws, and a father came and visit me. I have been going non-stop for almost 4 weeks solid. I have watched children...sometimes 12 at a time, for days on end. I have found that i have patience that i never really knew i had. I have told countless stories to little children with eager eyes and played games until my mind was almost numb. I have missed sleep knowing that my days were not going to change for a long time. I missed my period for months on end, because of the nervousness i must have been internalizing without knowing it. I conquered, it all! I am proud of myself. I didn't shirk from my responsibilities...i carried through...and i am happy that i succeeded.
I have been wanting a quiet place for a long time, but now that i have it...i don't think i like it. I like having family around. I like the activity that comes with little children all around. I like having my father sit by my side watching movies with me. I like the Chaos. I like it. Please don't get me wrong...i like the quiet and sometimes crave it. I like being able to think without having a little one breathing down my neck wanting me to give them another glass of milk. But, there is a little confusion i am feeling...do i really like the quiet? I am missing my family.
I do think families are suppose to live somewhat close to each other. So you can "pop" in on them every once in a while. Families are wonderful and i miss mine.