My Addiction

I have a problem....not just any problem but a BIG problem. I love Chocolate. This love isn't normal. I dream about chocolate, desire chocolate, I beg for chocolate, I panic when I don't have chocolate in the house, I ask friends to buy chocolate and worse of all... my day is shot when I don't have a piece of chocolate. I think I am an addict. Chocolate is my "cocaine" in life. I need to kick the habit, but I do not think it is possible and life would be lame without it. Why is the coco bean my friend? How can something so simple, be made into the most delicious of treats??
I have been thinking about the word love and the different kinds of love. There are nine kinds that I can think of off hand. 1) Affection
2)Sexual Love
3)Platonic Love
4)Romantic Love
5)Puppy Love
6)Friendship
7)Committed Love
8)Infatuation
9)Passionate Love
What have these nine kinds of love have anything to do with my subject of chocolate...well, I think I hit 5 of these. Truly! I have deep AFFECTION for chocolate....I am very "fond" of it and I have a deep "bond" with it, plus I think it could be a one-sided relationship. I do not have sexual relationship with chocolate, so this must mean it is a PLATONIC love. I "care for it and get great "happiness" from it. I do dream about chocolate so I must have a ROMANTIC love going on. I "take walks" with it, "I want to be with it all the time" and "my world revolves around it." Chocolate is my friend so FRIENDSHIP must be one. I have a "good time" with it, I have a "loyalty" to it and I "respect" it's power over me. I know I have a COMMITTED love for my chocolaty friend. It is a "long lasting friendship", it is a "devotion" that I can not break and "I promise" I will never leave it.
So you can see that I do have a problem. I adore my silky, smooth, dark, sticky, gooey friend. I do not know how to stop my addiction, nor do I need help ...thank you very much!

Mommy Meltdown

I think someone needs to send me to the funny farm. I slowly feel myself losing my mind. I hear little voices morning, noon and night. These voices will not stop talking...they ask the same questions over and over again. I swear sometimes I think these little voices know the answers to these very important questions. Why won't the voices stop? I also see things. Visions that scare me. Why do I see frosting running down the side of my table like it is bleeding? Why do hand prints magically appear on my walls and in technicolor, no less? Why do I have a floor that produces toys and clothing consistently? Why can't it stay clean?? Today I went mad. These things took it's toll on me and I wanted to go away. I wanted to go to a happy place. A place where I got to be waited on and to be fed chocolate. I wanted the sun to shine on me. I wanted to feel like I had no cares in the world. I wanted a hug. When these things could not be done for me, I cried. I decided that sometimes a mom needs a time out or a 911 call to the nut house...just so I could rest. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Shopping with a 7 year old

Tonight I had to go to the store and my little girl wanted to go with me. Sure, why not, I thought...no big deal. So off we went hand in hand to the car. We chatted the whole way to the store, even sang songs. We skipped into the store and waved and made faces to the security camera that was above the door. I lifted my girl into the cart and we started off. Right away she wanted candy. I told her I would have to think about it. She started to whine and told me that she REALLY, really liked candy and that it would make her tummy happy to have some. I smiled on the inside and told her she would have to wait and see. Then she wanted to hold the shopping list. I let her. I had to lean way over the cart every time I wanted to see what was on our list. She then wanted to get a "golden ticket" that was hanging on every aisle. These tickets are coupons that you can grab to use when ever you like. My daughter thinks they are golden tickets like the ones on the movie Charlie and Chocolate Factory... She will even sing the song "I've got a golden ticket..."
Then she saw the AISLE!! The one with the candy in it. Oh no!! Too late she had the gum in her hot little hand and she was giving me the Bambi eyes. I let her get the gum. Then she wanted to walk. I let her. She had to run to everything in arms reach and touch the merchandise. "Mom, what is this? Can we get this?" I would say no and please put it down. She would then run down the aisle and DISAPPEAR?!? Where did she go? "PEEK, did I scare you?" She did this on every aisle. Then she wanted to pick out her own yogurt...I let her. She looked at every single yogurt that was on the shelf. She very carefully picked out 7 of her favorite. She then ran off. Boy, was this a exhausting trip.
It was time to check out and she wanted to help put everything on the conveyor belt. I let her help me. She did a wonderful job. Then she wanted to take everything off. "Wait, I said." "This isn't helping me anymore." She looked at me with very sad eyes and said, "Of course it is helping you, I love you." What can I say to this. I love my daughter and I love shopping with her .. But, BOY does it take patience.

Day 4

I miss them!! Can you believe it?!? All of cousins were at a friends house for the night and day and I couldn't stand it. I missed the yelling, the excitement, the pestering, laughing, the strange smells, the cute faces and the noise. I couldn't believe it. Truly?? What is wrong with me? Do I really love children this much?? I do. I love my niece and nephews. They are fun to be around. I have loved every minute of this experience. (well, maybe not the 5:00am thing) Children bring me joy. I truly love all little children. Ian and Sashi's cousins are wonderful. I did miss them when they were away and I will miss them once their visit is over. I hope that they have enjoyed themselves. I hope they take away as much as our family has. I am grateful for families. I am grateful for being able to watch these funny little creatures. I am happy that each child is different from the other....what a wonderful world we live in. Thank you to my in-laws they gave me a wonderful adventure.

Day 3

PLAY!!! How we played all day! What didn't we do? We had waffles for breakfast, played, busted up big blocks to get the gold out, played, had lunch, went for an explore at the beach, played, watched a movie, played and then my friend came over to the house to gather up the kids for the night. Oh the EXCITEMENT felt at this house...golly, if we could charge up a battery with sheer joy, we would have succeeded. A+ sort of day. So why do I have a lady sleeping as my photo for this day?? Well...
I was SO tired from two days of getting up around 5 that I couldn't stay awake once all the excitement left my house. I sat at the computer and fell asleep. My husband woke me up to ask if I wanted to go to bed and I said "NO, I want to write a blog." Not more that five minutes later I was sleeping again with my fingers pressed into the keyboard. My husband woke me up laughing you should go to bed. I gave him a sad face and said "No." I really wanted to write my blog. A few minutes later I fell asleep again. This time my hubby made me go to bed and I SLEPT...hard. I had know idea I was as tired as I was. It was kinda funny. So I was going to title this blog On The Third Day She Rested, but I chicken out. I figured it was too God like and I shouldn't do it.

Day 2

Today was day 2 of the cousins sleepover. The day started off inauspicious. My little niece must be mixed up about the time or something, because she woke up the entire house at 5:30am. I could not get anyone back to sleep and have been reaping the unfortunate results of crabby children. I have learned on this adventure that I need to stand firm with the things I believe in. Here are some things I feel strongly about and haven't wavered at all on. 1) Video games are not more important then friends and cousins. 2) We go outside when it is sunny...period. 3) We are always polite to your aunt and uncle no matter how tired we get. 4) We sleep in until 7:00am. 5) We wash our hands after we poop, not just run them under the water and wipe hands on towel. I have stood firm on these. I will not bend.
The day has been a C+ sort of day. The kids are more argumentative then yesterday...showing more "balls" if you will. They tell it like it is and I listen then tell them how I would like it to be. They give me challenging glances and then decide not to mess with it. I smile and tell them I love them and then we play games and laugh.
Today was movie night. We had popcorn, chocolate and Popsicles to wash it all down. We watched Kung Fu Panda and laughed and laughed. We had pillows and blankets and crunchy popcorn EVERYWHERE!!! It was loads of fun. I am grateful for these memories. I love my niece and nephews. Just not when they GET UP AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING!!!!! Grrrrr.

Day 1

I am watching the cousins for the weekend. My life will not be my own for several days. I will be catering to their every whim. Today we played, cooked hot dogs, played, went to karate, played, took showers, played and went to bed. It was a very full and exciting day. Ian is in hog heaven that he has friends around him 24 hours a day. Will I survive these next few days....I guess I will have to wait and see. So far so good.